This is one of the reasons determining sexual compatibility is so important before you have sex with someone. Imagine you are hot and heavy for a few months, or even a few years, and then it slows down. Everyone says it is supposed to be that way in all relationships ( I do not agree). Not a big deal, right? Well for some it is not a big deal..... for others (me) it is a pretty big deal. When I am not having sex often with my partner, and especially when we did at one time, it eventually makes me feel extremely unwanted and neglected. And those feelings do not make for a good relationship.
All of this could have been avoided with a simple series of questions designed to find out where a person stands on their sexuality.
When I suggest to a person that it is important to bring up the topic of sex before dating I usually am met with disbelief and wonder as to how they might go about having this conversation with someone they haven't even gone on a date with! I get that! It is a fair point/concern. But I think it is such an important component to a relationship that fear has to take a back seat! And what I tell people is this- if someone is so uptight that the mere mention of talking about sex makes them want to run away, then ask yourself- is this a person you want to have a relationship with? Don't you want to have a relationship, ultimately, with someone you can talk to about anything, especially sex? I mean the fact that you are here tells me you are not uptight about sex and you are probably adventurous or at least would like to be. We need to be in a relationship where we feel comfortable talking about everything we think of in regards to sex and our desires.
Isn't that what we all want? When you think of ending up in a relationship where you are not having satisfying sex, or maybe having no sex, does the idea of talking about sex to a potential mate really seem like a bad or difficult thing to do?
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